There are more important issues in the world, but sometimes, when walking past someone licking a yoghurt pot out in public, you have to wonder what the hell led them to it.

It was impossible to ask, after all, her tongue had found such a reach that it felt rude not to cheer her on and invite struggling ant-eaters to watch and learn something. Had she recently purchased a six-pack of yoghurts, or had she brought it with her?

Perhaps finding it in her bag had been a lovely Monday morning surprise, or perhaps someone had given it to her. It did feel like the sort of morning to be dishing out free yoghurts without spoons, it’s Monday after all; by Thursday or Friday free yoghurts come with a serviette and a privacy cubicle.

Like booze, it’s hard to know with yoghurt if it’s celebratory or a consolation. She was outside the job centre, so perhaps she had secured the job she was hoping for and with off licences yet to open, she went peach melba. Or perhaps it was to calm pre-interview nerves. Are yoghurts calming? They probably are; on a scale of calming foods they’re probably near muffins and crumpets. Again, it’s hard to know, there’s no established scale. Anyway, she was enjoying it, oblivious to social etiquette and busily putting passers-by off yoghurt for life.